My gift to you this Christmas, is a kindness advent calendar (you can find the link below, I didn’t make it so thanks to maketodayhappy website!). Someone shared this with me, and I’d like to spread the festive cheer with you all too. This is what Christmas is all about to me these days, less about the gifts and material stuff.
At first I didn’t want to post this, worried that people would think I was being self-righteous or better than everyone else for having a positive advent calendar. But it’s not at all, I have decided this can be a chance for me to write about kindness and wellbeing and positivity every day for a month. Starting this blog had been one of the best things about this year, and I want to keep it going.
Also I find sometimes if I’m being too positive it’s unhealthy, that it’s as though I’m deluding myself into happiness and ignoring the bad. I do need to try and find balance, I get really bis highs and then terrible lows sometimes on a daily basis.
Sometimes I wonder Why should I be happy when there is so much pain and misery and awful things going on in the world. One thing I realised this year is that no matter what happens, no matter how bad things get for me or for someone else, is that life goes on. I was getting so upset over things and not doing anything about it, but noone would even realise how much things were affecting me, and I never said anything.
It can make you feel hopeless and powerless, like a spectator watching a play having no control in the story. I began to realise that me worrying all the time and being upset for other people, wasn’t getting me anywhere and wasn’t helping anybody else either.
When you focus on everything and everyone else, which is so easy to do, you forget that you are in control of your own life, your own emotions. It may not seem it a lot of the time, but if something is going wrong in life you can change it. I have spent a lot of time dwelling on all of the things I couldn’t change, what other people thought of me and all of the injustice that I couldn’t fix, I wasn’t thinking of myself.
I had to think of myself this year, my health has been the worst it’s ever been. I’m slowly recovering. But I had to stop everything, put my life on hold leave university. And I had to prioritise me. It seems silly, I used to think it was selfish to look after yourself, but actually I’m learning now that it’s really important to look after me, as well as others.
So this calendar is for you, it’s also for me. I’m getting a lot out of sharing my story, and I’m going to challenge myself to write about kindness and well-being for the whole month.. I’ll probably want to back out several times, but I’ve committed to the Internet now, so I’ve got to do this. I really want to share and spread kindness, as soppy as that sounds, so that’s what I’ll do this Christmas.