And just like that, my anxious mind takes over. Ramblings and trying to make sense of things …
Untangling the psychosis. Everything feels more heightened, when I’m happy that’s exaggerated, when I’m down it brings me down even further than usual. I’m finding it easier to manage (if you asked me two months ago to articulate how I felt, I wouldn’t have, I would be in manic mode, that’s how my psychosis works. Three months ago and I would probably have smashed my phone)
Mindfulness, good and helpful sometimes, other times my brain won’t let me listen.
I feel stressed, I wish we weren’t living in these strange times, I have to deal with that and my psychosis. My brain won’t let me relax.
At the shops, wearing my mask, and all the other people who don’t need to worry about the germs and don’t wear a mask, it makes me feel anxious. More than that, scared. Argh I cannot begin to explain the frustration.
My day is not ruined, I can live to tell the tale, remind myself that. it’s not the end of the world and it’s not two steps back one step forward. It’s just a process my brain is going through.
I want to use my voice more, and I will when I can and able, but also mindful of giving myself space to recover and heal myself.
chronically happy 